"Looks like you'll be going to the Weasley house," said Luna, clearing his confusion a little, though he still wondered why it was called that.
"Ron!" breathed Harry, creeping to the window and pushing it up so they could talk through the bars. "Ron, how did you – what the –?"
"Wait a bit, Dudley's sec- I mean, my room is on the first floor, not the ground one, so how can he be right outside my window," Harry said, suddenly realizing a rather key piece of evidence. How he didn't catch that before the last chapter ended, he didn't know.
"Now that you say it, that's actually a good question," said Hermione. "Maybe they flew their brooms there."
Harry's mouth fell open as the full impact of what he was see ing hit him. Ron was leaning out of the back window of an old turquoise car, which was parked in mid-air.
There was some silence, before Cedric said, "Apparently, you were sort of right Hermione. You just got the item that they flew wrong."
"Cars can fly in your world?" Harry said.
"What would happen of someone saw them?" Hermione said.
"Actually, cars are not used too often, and I don't think any can fly – in fact, I'm sure that the flying feature on that one was a personally added one – and I would think they would have some kind of invisibility spell on it to keep it from being seen while in the air," Cedric said. "What I want to know, though, is whose driving, because I don't think Ron would know how."
Grinning at Harry from the front seats were Fred and George, Ron's elder twin brothers.
"Oh," said Cedric.
"All right, Harry?"
"I think it's pretty obvious that he's not," Hermione said.
"What's been going on?" said Ron. "Why haven't you been answering my letters? I've asked you to stay about twelve times, and then Dad came home and said you'd got an official warning for using magic in front of Muggles ..."
"How would he know?" asked Harry.
"His father, like mine, works for the ministry," explained Cedric.
"And, let me guess, Harry being who he is means that everyone in the Ministry will know this," Hermione said.
"Yeah, most likely," Cedric said.
"It wasn't me – and how did he know?"
"He works for the Ministry," said Ron. "You know we're not supposed to do spells outside school –"
"Did my words just go over his head?" asked Harry.
"That accusation is a bit rich coming from him," Hermione said.
"I don't think he did the enchanting," said Cedric. "Mr. Weasley was probably the one who did it."
"Bit rich coming from you," said Harry, staring at the floating car.
"Oh, this doesn't count," said Ron. "We're only borrowing this, it's Dad's, we didn't enchant it. But doing magic in front of those Muggles you live with ..."
"He really didn't hear when Harry said that he didn't do it, did he?" asked Hermione.
"I told you, I didn't – but it'll take too long to explain now. Look, can you explain to them at Hogwarts that the Dursleys have locked me up and won't let me come back, and obviously I can't magic myself out, because the Ministry'll think that's the second spell I've done in three days, so –"
"Do you honestly think they would just leave you there?" asked Cedric. Harry blushed, and Cedric shook his head. "They wouldn't. Especially since there's bars on your window. And with Fred and George there, there won't be any need for magic – at least, I suspect it. Those two can surprisingly come up with quick and effective plans when need be."
"Stop gibbering," said Ron, "we've come to take you home with us."
"But you can't magic me out either –"
"We don't need to," said Ron, jerking his head towards the front seats and grinning. "You forget who I've got with me."
"Tie that round the bars," said Fred, throwing the end of a rope to Harry.
"Why did they have rope?" asked Harry.
"They like to be prepared for, well, anything," said Cedric.
"If the Dursleys wake up, I'm dead," said Harry, as he tied the rope tightly around a bar and Fred revved up the car.
"Don't worry," said Fred, "and stand back."
"Oh no, this is going to wake the Dursleys up," Harry said, worried. The others looked just as worried.
"Let's hope your aunt and uncle are deep sleepers," Hermione said.
Harry moved back into the shadows next to Hedwig, who seemed to have realised how important this was and kept still and silent. The car revved louder and louder and suddenly, with a crunching noise, the bars were pulled clean out of the window as Fred drove straight up in the air – Harry ran back to the window to see the bars dangling a few feet above the ground. Panting, Ron hoisted them up into the car. Harry listened anxiously, but there was no sound from the Dursleys' bedroom.
"Oh, thank god," Harry said, then realized something else. "Now how are we going to get things, though. My bedroom door's locked."
When the bars were safely in the back seat with Ron, Fred reversed as close as possible to Harry's window.
"Get in," Ron said.
"But all my Hogwarts stuff ... my wand ... my broomstick ..."
"Where is it?"
"Locked in the cupboard under the stairs, and I can't get out of this room –"
"No problem," said George from the front passenger seat. "Out of the way, Harry."
Fred and George climbed carefully through the window into Harry's room. You had to hand it to them, thought Harry, as George took an ordinary hairpin from his pocket and started to pick the lock.
"They know how to pick locks?" Hermione said, trying hard not to sound too impressed, since that's technically not a legal skill – they could try and break into someone's house – but, on the other hand, it was being used to help Harry, so…
"A lot of wizards think it's a waste of time, knowing this sort of Muggle trick," said Fred, "but we feel they're skills worth learning, even if they are a bit slow."
"Yeah, plus, if you know how to use it, that means you can get through doors that other wizards can't when they've been spells to not unlock – kind of like the door leading between the two traps in the first book, the one that you had to catch the key for," said Cedric.
There was a small click and the door swung open.
"So – we'll get your trunk – you grab anything you need from your room and hand it out to Ron," whispered George.
"Watch out for the bottom stair, it creaks," Harry whispered back, as the twins disappeared onto the dark landing.
"That's good advice to give, knowledge of your house," said Luna.
"You should ask them to get you a snack from the kitchen as well," said Hermione.
Harry dashed around his room, collecting his things together and passing them out of the window to Ron.
"Did you pass Hedwig to him too?" asked Hermione. She could be considered to be a part of Harry's things, but, at the same time, she had the feeling that it would have actually mentioned Hedwig being passed through the window.
"I think so," Harry said, though he sounded a bit worried that he didn't.
"You better have," said Luna, her eyes flashing in warning. Harry scooted away from her, just to make sure that he didn't end up under a glare from her like Cedric had under Hermione.
Then he went to help Fred and George heave his trunk up the stairs. Harry heard Uncle Vernon cough.
"That doesn't really sound good," said Cedric.
"I think he's hearing something, and it's disturbing his sleep a bit," said Harry.
At last, panting, they reached the landing, then carried the trunk through Harry's room to the open window. Fred climbed back into the car to pull with Ron, and Harry and George pushed from the bedroom side. Inch by inch, the trunk slid through the window.
"And I think I know what he was hearing," said Hermione.
Uncle Vernon coughed again.
"A bit more," panted Fred, who was pulling from inside the car, "one good push ..."
Harry and George threw their shoulders against the trunk and it slid out of the window into the back seat of the car.
"OK, let's go," George whispered.
But as Harry climbed onto the windowsill there came a sudden loud screech from behind him,
"Apparently I didn't," Harry said, wincing from the glare that Luna gave him. Apparently, when it came to animals, Luna could be quite scary if she hears about them being mistreated. He could now understand why Ceric was wincing and trying to get from Hermione when she glared.
followed immediately by the thun der of Uncle Vernon's voice.
"THAT RUDDY OWL!"
"I've forgotten Hedwig!"
"Next time, grab Hedwig's cage so that she'll be the first thing you think of passing on should something like this happen," Hermione said.
Harry tore back across the room as the landing light clicked on. He snatched up Hedwig's cage, dashed to the window and passed it out to Ron. He was scrambling back onto the chest of drawers when Uncle Vernon hammered on the unlocked door – and it crashed open.
"Note to self: relock the door once my stuff is brought up into it, should this actually happen," said Harry said. "Then, he'll have to work on getting into the room, and I can escape before he can get in - unless he just decides to pound on the door – then, it can be a huge surprise to them when they realize I'm not there."
For a split second, Uncle Vernon stood framed in the doorway; then he let out a bellow like an angry bull and dived at Harry, grabbing him by the ankle.
Ron, Fred and George seized Harry's arms and pulled as hard as they could.
"You know, if he hates you so much, wouldn't he be happy that you're leaving," said Hermione.
"But he knows I would have fun if I left," Harry countered. "When it comes to the possibility of me having fun, then he'd rather have me there, were he can make sure I'm miserable."
Hermione's teeth clenched.
The Weasleys gave a gigantic tug and Harry's leg slid out of Uncle Vernon's grasp. As soon as Harry was in the car and had slammed the door shut, Ron yelled, "Put your foot down, Fred!" and the car shot suddenly towards the moon.
Harry couldn't believe it – he was free. He wound down the window, the night air whipping his hair, and looked back at the shrinking rooftops of Privet Drive. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley were all hanging, dumbstruck, out of Harry's window.
"See you next summer!" Harry yelled.
"I wish you didn't have to go there," Hermione sighed, shaking her head.
"I know, but somehow, I think I do. They are my guardians, after all," Harry said.
The Weasleys roared with laughter and Harry settled back in his seat, grinning from ear to ear.
Let Hedwig out," he told Ron, "she can fly behind us. She hasn't had a chance to stretch her wings for ages."
George handed the hairpin to Ron and a moment later, Hedwig had soared joyfully out of the window to glide alongside them like a ghost.
"They much have taught him how to do that," said Cedric.
"Hedwig must be extremely happy right now," Luna said.
"So – what's the story, Harry?" said Ron impatiently. "What's been happening?"
Harry told them all about Dobby, the warning he'd given Harry and the fiasco of the violet pudding. There was a long shocked silence when he had finished.
"Very fishy," said Fred finally.
"Definitely dodgy," agreed George. "So he wouldn't even tell you who's supposed to be plotting all this stuff?"
"He obviously couldn't," said Cedric.
"I don't think he could," said Harry. "I told you, every time he got close to letting something slip, he started banging his head against the wall."
He saw Fred and George look at each other.
"What, you think he was lying to me?" said Harry.
"Well," said Fred, "put it this way – house-elves have got power ful magic of their own, but they can't usually use it without their masters' permission."
"That doesn't mean that there aren't a few who can't, though," said Cedric. "Plus, he was planning on punishing himself, so I don't think he had any permission from his masters to go see Harry."
"I reckon old Dobby was sent to stop you coming back to Hogwarts. Someone's idea of a joke. Can you think of anyone at school with a grudge against you?"
"Well, I guess that would make a bit of sense, but Dobby seemed to serious for it to really be a joke," said Hermione.
"Yes," said Harry and Ron together, instantly.
"Draco Malfoy," Harry explained. "He hates me."
"Well, I guess we can't dismiss that, as the Malfoys would definitely have house-elves, however I can honestly say that I don't think he would ever use a house-elf to make a joke like that, as it would not only be over his thinking skills, but he wouldn't have a house-elf do something like that, as he wouldn't consider them able to," said Cedric. "Most purebloods like the Malfoys not only think they are superior to Muggleborns and half-bloods, but to creatures as well, so the idea that an house-elf would be able to do something they can't wouldn't even cross their minds."
"Draco Malfoy?" said George, turning round. "Not Lucius Malfoy's son?"
"Must be, it's not a very common name, is it?" said Harry.
"No, it's not," said Cedric.
"Why?"
"Well, other than the fact that the Weasleys and Malfoys have some kind of feud going on, they're probably suspicious because the Malfoy's were supporters of Voldemort," Cedric said.
"I've heard Dad talking about him," said George. "He was a big supporter of You Know Who."
"And when You Know Who disappeared," said Fred, craning around to look at Harry, "Lucius Malfoy came back saying he'd never meant any of it."
"Like I said in the during the first book, he was caught in full death eater garb and is only out on the streets because he's rich," said Cedric.
"Load of dung – Dad reckons he was right in You Know Who's inner circle."
"I wouldn't be surprised, though he's probably been knocked down in Voldemort's hierarchy for not bothering to try and find him or anything," said Luna.
Harry had heard these rumours about Malfoy's family before, and they didn't surprise him at all. Draco Malfoy made Dudley Dursley look like a kind, thoughtful and sensitive boy.
"Sadly, I have to agree on that," said Hermione.
"I don't know whether the Malfoys own a house-elf ..." said Harry.
"They do," said Cedric. "They would consider it an insult if they didn't have any, as their very prideful."
"Well, whoever owns him will be an old wizarding family, and they'll be rich," said Fred.
"Does having money actually matter," asked Hermione.
"No, not really," said Cedric.
"Yeah, Mum's always wishing we had a house-elf to do the ironing," said George.
"It wouldn't be able to do the ironing anyways, since if an elf is handed clothes, it would be free, which would most likely devastate many elves," said Cedric.
"But all we've got is a lousy old ghoul in the attic and gnomes all over the garden. House-elves come with big old manors and castles and places like that, you wouldn't catch one in our house ..."
Harry was silent. Judging by the fact that Draco Malfoy usually had the best of everything, his family was rolling in wizard gold; he could just see Malfoy strutting around a large manor house. Sending the family servant to stop Harry going back to Hogwarts also sounded exactly like the sort of thing Malfoy would do. Had Harry been stupid to take Dobby seriously?
"No," said Luna.
"I'm glad we came to get you, anyway," said Ron. "I was getting really worried when you didn't answer any of my letters. I thought it was Errol's fault at first –"
"Does he think you've been locked in your room the entire time?" asked Hermione.
"Probably not," said Cedric, "especially if Harry just told them the story."
"Who's Errol?"
"Our owl. He's ancient. It wouldn't be the first time he'd collapsed on a delivery. So then I tried to borrow Hermes –"
"Who?"
"I have to admit it's funny to hear about him saying names that he expects you to know," sniggered Cedric.
"The owl Mum and Dad bought Percy when he was made a pre fect," said Fred from the front.
"You know, I just thought of something," said Hermione. "Why did they buy Percy his own owl instead of getting some new robes, or a new wand for Ron? I mean, Ron complains about how they don't have much money, but it's doesn't sound as if they spend what they do have wisely either."
"You know, I've never thought of it that way," Cedric said. "But your right. I'm also sure that it doesn't help his feelings of inferiority either."
"But Percy wouldn't lend him to me," said Ron. "Said he needed him."
"Percy's been acting very oddly this summer," said George, frowning. "And he has been sending a lot of letters and spending a load of time shut up in his room ... I mean, there's only so many times you can polish a prefect badge ..."
"If I thought someone could stand him, I'd say he has a girlfriend," said Cedric. "It would also explain why he's sending a lot of letters and hiding out in his room, because he doesn't want to tell his family. I know the twins would make a lot of fun at him."
"You're driving too far west, Fred," he added, pointing at a compass on the dashboard. Fred twiddled the steering wheel.
"So, does your dad know you've got the car?" said Harry, guess ing the answer.
"I'm thinkin' no," said Cedric.
"Same as us," the others said.
"Er, no," said Ron, "he had to work tonight. Hopefully we'll be able to get it back in the garage without Mum noticing we flew it."
"That's not going to happen. Mrs. Weasley will have noticed if they left the house – she has an interesting clock that can do that," said Luna.
"What does your dad do at the Ministry of Magic, anyway?"
"He works in the most boring department," said Ron. "The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office."
"That doesn't sound like a boring department to work in," said Hermione.
"To a pureblood, it is," said Cedric. "Most are not only not interested in Muggles in general, but they honestly don't care what happens to them. Plus, especially to the fanatics, if something bad happens to them, they believe that they deserve it."
"I do hope that it will eventually change," said Hermione.
"Can I at least use my fame to help make it change. I mean, if I have, it would make sense to at least use it to make the world better," said Harry.
"The what?"
"It's all to do with bewitching things that are Muggle-made, you know, in case they end up back in a Muggle shop or house," said Luna.
"Yeah, that wouldn't be a good thing. Some people do the strangest things to their stuff," said Cedric.
"Like, last year, some old witch died and her tea set was sold to an antiques shop. This Muggle woman bought it, took it home and tried to serve her friends tea in it. It was a nightmare – Dad was working overtime for weeks."
"How did it manage to get sold to an antiques shop where a Muggle could buy it in the first place?" asked Hermione.
"You know, that's actually a good question," said Cedric.
"Do you think it was done on purpose?" asked Harry.
"It's possible," said Luna.
"What happened?"
"The teapot went berserk and squirted boiling tea all over the place and one man ended up in hospital with the sugar tongs clamped to his nose."
"Okay, that definitely sounds like it was planted, especially with how bad it sounds," said Cedric.
"Dad was going frantic, it's only him and an old warlock called Perkins in the office, and they had to do Memory Charms and all sorts to cover it up ..."
"So, he has one of the biggest jobs, but he doesn't have any help at all," said Hermione crossly. "Someone needs to revaluate their priorities in the ministry."
"But your dad ... this car ..."
Fred laughed. "Yeah, Dad's mad about everything to do with Muggles, our shed's full of Muggle stuff. He takes it apart, puts spells on it and puts it back together again. If he raided our house he'd have to put himself straight under arrest. It drives Mum mad."
"Why?" asked Harry.
"I'm not exactly sure," said Cedric. It was true – Mrs. Weasley wasn't a pureblood fanatic, and she didn't really seem to be indifference toward them, so why did it drive her mad?
"That's the main road," said George, peering down through the windscreen. "We'll be there in ten minutes ... just as well, it's getting light ..."
"Good, less chance of you being seen that way," said Luna.
A faint pinkish glow was visible along the horizon to the east.
Fred brought the car lower and Harry saw a dark patchwork of fields and clumps of trees.
"We're a little way outside the village," said George. "Ottery St. Catchpole ..."
"They're pretty close to were I live, and I'm about midpoint of the way between their house and Cedric's," said Luna.
Lower and lower went the flying car. The edge of a brilliant red sun was now gleaming through the trees.
"Touchdown!" said Fred as, with a slight bump, they hit the ground. They had landed next to a tumbledown garage in a small yard and Harry looked out for the first time at Ron's house.
It looked as though it had once been a large stone pigsty, but extra rooms had been added here and there until it was several storeys high and so crooked it looked as though it was held up by magic (which, Harry reminded himself, it probably was). Four or five chimneys were perched on top of the red roof. A lop-sided sign stuck in the ground near the entrance read 'THE BURROW'. Round the front door lay a jumble of wellington boots and a very rusty cauldron. Several fat brown chickens were pecking their way around the yard.
"Sounds…nice," said Hermione, a bit dubious.
"It's okay," said Luna and Cedric, "if not a bit small."
"It's not much," said Ron.
"It's brilliant," said Harry happily, thinking of Privet Drive.
They got out of the car.
"Now, we'll go upstairs really quietly," said Fred, "and wait for Mum to call us for breakfast. Then Ron, you come bounding downstairs going, 'Mum, look who turned up in the night!' and she'll be all pleased to see Harry and no one need ever know we flew the car."
"Yeah, that's not going to work," said Hermione. "Mothers tend to be smart enough not to fall for things like that, and she would most likely end up wondering how he got from his house to there without her noticing it."
"Right," said Ron. "Come on, Harry, I sleep at the –"
Ron had gone a nasty greenish colour, his eyes fixed on the house. The other three wheeled around.
"Looks like they are not going to have an easy time," said Harry.
Mrs. Weasley was marching across the yard, scattering chickens, and for a short, plump, kind-faced woman, it was remarkable how much she looked like a sabre-toothed tiger.
"She must be angry, then," said Luna – she did remember the few times Mrs. Weasley had gotten angry, and they were rather impressive when you weren't the target of that anger.
"Ah," said Fred.
"Oh dear," said George.
Mrs. Weasley came to a halt in front of them, her hands on her hips, staring from one guilty face to the next. She was wearing a flowered apron with a wand sticking out of the pocket.
"So," she said.
"Morning, Mum," said George, in what he clearly thought was a jaunty, winning voice.
"That's not going to work," said Cedric.
"Have you any idea how worried I've been?" said Mrs. Weasley in a deadly whisper.
"Sorry, Mum, but see, we had to –"
"While I am glad that they did come to rescue you, I don't think they had to," said Hermione.
All three of Mrs. Weasley's sons were taller than she was, but they cowered as her rage broke over them.
"Beds empty! No note! Car gone ... could have crashed ... out of my mind with worry ... did you care? ... never, as long as I've lived ... you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy ..."
"You know, it's not right that she compares them so much," said Hermione. "In fact, it's probably why the twins always pick on Percy, because of the fact that she's always making them feel inferior to him. And I'm sure it doesn't help Ron, either."
"Perfect Percy," muttered Fred.
"Not the best idea," said Hermione. "Even if it is justified."
"YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY'S BOOK!" yelled Mrs. Weasley, prodding a finger in Fred's chest. "You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job–"
It seemed to go on for hours. Mrs. Weasley had shouted herself hoarse before she turned on Harry, who backed away.
"She's not going to yell at you," said Cedric. "Not only are you a guest, but your also Harry Potter, and I have the feeling she'll probably love you more than she loves her others, and consider you a part of the family straight away."
Luna frowned at that, knowing that Harry would like it, but feared that there was something bad towards it, particularly since Mrs. Weasley had ideas about him and Ginny getting together.
"I'm very pleased to see you, Harry, dear," she said, "Come in and have some breakfast."
She turned and walked back into the house and Harry, after a nervous glance at Ron, who nodded encouragingly, followed her.
The kitchen was small and rather cramped. There was a scrubbed wooden table and chairs in the middle and Harry sat down on the edge of his seat, looking around. He had never been in a wizard house before.
The clock on the wall opposite him had only one hand and no numbers at all. Written around the edge were things like 'Time to make tea', 'Time to feed the chickens' and 'You're late'. Books were stacked three deep on the mantelpiece, books with titles like CharmYourOwnCheese,EnchantmentinBakingand OneMinuteFeasts – It'sMagic! And unless Harry's ears were deceiving him, the old radio next to the sink had just announced that coming up was 'Witching Hour, with the popular singing sorceress, Celestina Warbeck'.
"Ick, Celestina Warbeck is horrible," said Luna, scrunching up her nose.
Mrs. Weasley was clattering around, cooking breakfast a little haphazardly, throwing dirty looks at her sons as she threw sausages into the frying pan. Every now and then she muttered things like "don't know what you were thinking of" and "never would have believed it".
"I don't blame you, dear," she assured Harry, tipping eight or nine sausages onto his plate.
"Of course not," said Luna quietly. Harry, having heard, looked at her confused, but didn't question her about it, getting the feeing that she didn't want anyone to hear to begin with.
"If she did, then she would have a huge problem," said Hermione, shaking her head.
"Arthur and I have been worried about you, too. Just last night we were saying we'd come and get you ourselves if you hadn't written back to Ron by Friday. But really" (she was now adding three fried eggs to his plate), "flying an illegal car halfway across the country – anyone could have seen you –"
"I think I'd rather the flying car happening than waiting in hopes that you get news that nothing's wrong – if I could talk my parents into going, I know I would have," said Hermione. "And, before you ask, I don't know why I didn't in the book, unless my parents had another dental convention to go to."
She flicked her wand casually at the washing-up in the sink, which began to clean itself, clinking gently in the background.
"It was cloudy, Mum!" said Fred.
"You keep your mouth closed while you're eating!" Mrs. Weasley snapped.
"They were starving him, Mum!" said George.
"That should set off Mrs. Weasley's temper," said Cedric. "She can never stand for a child being abused."
Hermione, however, wasn't so sure; she had the feeing Mrs. Weasley wouldn't believe her son, simply because he was one of the twins. Plus, she could see Harry's eyes move down the page, and she knew that he had read the next sentence – she could also see that his face was a bit dejected after reading it, meaning that there was no outrage on his behalf, as there should be based on what Cedric had just said.
"And you!" said Mrs. Weasley,
"Wait, she didn't go off on the Dursleys," said Cedric, his eyes wide.
"Of course not," Hermione said. "She wouldn't believe the twins on that – she probably thinks their lying."
"But it's probably evident on Harry as well, though," said Cedric.
"She could easily just think he's naturally skinny," said Hermione.
but it was with a slightly softened expression that she started cutting Harry bread and buttering it for him.
At that moment, there was a diversion in the form of a small, red-headed figure in a long nightdress, who appeared in the kitchen, gave a small squeal, and ran out again.
Luna held a snigger back at Ginny's introduction – it did seem a bit funny.
"Ginny," said Ron in an undertone to Harry. "My sister. She's been talking about you all summer."
"Yeah, she'll be wanting your autograph, Harry," grinned Fred,
Luna, Cedric, and Hermione let out a small laugh at the look on Harry's face.
Ugh, a fan girl he thought.
but he caught his mother's eye and bent his face over his plate without another word. Nothing more was said until all four plates were clean, which took a surprisingly short time.
"Blimey, I'm tired," yawned Fred, setting down his knife and fork at last. "I think I'll go to bed and –"
"That's not going to work," Cedric said. "Mrs. Weasley will probably say it's their own fault for being tired and make them work as a punishment."
"You will not," snapped Mrs. Weasley. "It's your own fault you've been up all night. You're going to de-gnome the garden for me, they're getting completely out of hand again."
"Oh, Mum –"
"And you two," she said, glaring at Ron and George. "You can go up to bed, dear," she added to Harry. "You didn't ask them to fly that wretched car."
"But that doesn't mean that he didn't enjoy it," said Hermione.
But Harry, who felt wide awake, said quickly, "I'll help Ron, I've never seen a de-gnoming –"
"That's very sweet of you, dear, but it's dull work," said Mrs. Weasley. "Now, let's see what Lockhart's got to say on the subject."
Cedric's nose crunched up.
"She's using him," he said. "Not only is he useless, but the kids already know what to do, there's not point in consulting anything."
And she pulled a heavy book from the stack on the mantel piece. George groaned.
"Mum, we know how to de-gnome a garden."
Harry looked at the cover of Mrs. Weasley's book. Written across it in fancy gold letters were the words: Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests. There was a big photograph on the front of a very good-looking wizard with wavy blond hair and bright blue eyes. As always in the wizarding world, the photograph was moving; the wizard, who Harry supposed was Gilderoy Lockhart, kept winking cheekily up at them all. Mrs. Weasley beamed down at him.
"Oh, he is marvellous," she said, "he knows his household pests, all right, it's a wonderful book ..."
"Not really," said Cedric. "I've read that book, as well as the others, and most of them seem more about how to make sure you don't mess up your hair or nail beds than anything else. They also read more like fictional adventure novels than something he actually did."
Hermione, who, upon imagining him in her mind and blushing at the picture she came up with, almost scowled at him, but the fact that she actually hadn't read any of them, and that he was much more knowledgeable about it than she was, kept her from doing so. Instead, she frowned, wondering if it was true or not.
"Mum fancies him," said Fred, in a very audible whisper.
"Don't be so ridiculous, Fred," said Mrs. Weasley, her cheeks rather pink. "All right, if you think you know better than Lockhart, you can go and get on with it, and woe betide you if there's a single gnome in that garden when I come out to inspect it."
Yawning and grumbling, the Weasleys slouched outside with Harry behind them. The garden was large and, in Harry's eyes, exactly what a garden should be. The Dursleys wouldn't have liked it – there were plenty of weeds, and the grass needed cutting – but there were gnarled trees all around the walls, plants Harry had never seen spilling from every flowerbed and a big green pond full of frogs.
"Let me guess, it's the fact that its messy that makes you think that it's the way a garden should be," said Hermione. Harry nodded his head.
"Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as they crossed the lawn.
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush. "Like fat little Father Christmases with fishing rods ..."
There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.
"And they don't look like the Muggle ones," said Cedric.
"Gerroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.
It was certainly nothing like Father Christmas. It was small and leathery-looking, with a large, knobbly, bald head exactly like a potato.
"I guess that's an accurate description," said Cedric, sniggering.
Ron held it at arm's length as it kicked out at him with its horny little feet; he grasped it around the ankles and turned it upside-down.
"This is what you have to do," he said. He raised the gnome above his head ("Gerroff me!") and started to swing it in great cir cles like a lasso.
Both Hermione and Harry's eyes widen.
"It doesn't hurt them," Cedric said quickly. "You've just got to make them dizzy enough so they can't find their gnomeholes."
Seeing the shocked look on Harry's face, Ron added, "It doesn't hurt them – you've just got to make them really dizzy so they can't find their way back to the gnomeholes."
"And apparently, I didn't need to explain it to you," Cedric said.
He let go of the gnome's ankles: it flew twenty feet into the air and landed with a thud in the field over the hedge.
"Pitiful," said Fred. "I bet I can get mine beyond that stump."
Harry learned quickly not to feel too sorry for the gnomes.
"Yeah, they can sense weakness," said Cedric, chuckling as he realized that Harry was about to experience his first gnome bite.
He decided just to drop the first one he caught over the hedge, but the gnome, sensing weakness, sank its razor-sharp teeth into Harry's finger and he had a hard job shaking it off until –
"Wow, Harry – that must've been fifty feet ..."
"Nice," Cedric said.
The air was soon thick with flying gnomes.
"See, they're not too bright," said George, seizing five or six gnomes at once. "The moment they know the de-gnoming's going on they storm up to have a look. You'd think they'd have learned by now just to stay put."
"Or they do it because they like being thrown into the air," Luna said. The other three thought about what she said, and realized that she made some sense.
Soon, the crowd of gnomes in the field started walking away in a straggling line, their little shoulders hunched.
"They'll be back," said Ron, as they watched the gnomes disap pear into the hedge on the other side of the field. "They love it here ... Dad's too soft with them, he thinks they're funny ..."
"They kind of are. I wish we had some," said Luna.
Just then, the front door slammed.
"He's back!" said George. "Dad's home!"
They hurried through the garden and back into the house.
"Looks like it's time to meet Mr. Weasley," said Harry, interested in meeting another Weasley. He wondered if he would ever actually meet the other two as well.
Mr. Weasley was slumped in a kitchen chair with his glasses off and his eyes closed. He was a thin man, going bald, but the little hair he had was as red as any of his children's. He was wearing long green robes which were dusty and travel-worn.
"What a night," he mumbled, groping for the teapot as they all sat down around him. "Nine raids. Nine! And old Mundungus Fletcher tried to put a hex on me when I had my back turned ..."
Mr. Weasley took a long gulp of tea and sighed.
"Find anything, Dad?" said Fred eagerly.
"I wonder why Fred's eager to know," said Luna.
"I hope he won't be trying to think of a prank to play on Muggles using his father's stories," said Hermione.
"No. They think the world of Mr. Weasley, and are actually interested in what he says," said Cedric.
"All I got were a few shrinking door-keys and a biting kettle," yawned Mr. Weasley. "There was some pretty nasty stuff that wasn't my department, though. Mortlake was taken away for questioning about some extremely odd ferrets, but that's the Committee on Experimental Charms, thank goodness ..."
"Why would anyone bother making door-keys shrink?" said George.
"Just Muggle-baiting," sighed Mr. Weasley. "Sell them a key that keeps shrinking to nothing so they can never find it when they need it ... Of course, it's very hard to convict anyone because no Muggle would admit their key keeps shrinking – they'll insist they just keep losing it. Bless them, they'll go to any lengths to ignore magic, even if it's staring them in the face ... but the things our lot have taken to enchanting, you wouldn't believe –"
"And queue Mrs. Weasley," said Cedric, smiling at the looks on Hermione's and Harry's faces as they listened to what Mr. Weasley just told them through the book.
"LIKE CARS, FOR INSTANCE?"
Mrs. Weasley had appeared, holding a long poker like a sword. Mr. Weasley's eyes jerked open. He stared guiltily at his wife.
"He's probably wondering how she knows," Harry said
"C-cars, Molly, dear?"
"Yes, Arthur, cars," said Mrs. Weasley, her eyes flashing. "Imagine a wizard buying a rusty old car and telling his wife all he wanted to do with it was take it apart to see how it worked, while really he was enchanting it to make it fly."
"Uh-oh, he's in trouble," said Luna.
Mr. Weasley blinked.
"Well, dear, I think you'll find that he would be quite within the law to do that, even if, er, he maybe would have done better to, um, tell his wife the truth ... There's a loophole in the law, you'll find ... as long as he wasn't intending to fly the car, the fact that the car could fly wouldn't –"
"Wait, quick question, is it actually illegal to spell anything Muggle?" Hermione asked. At Cedric's nodding, she snorted. "Well that's just stupid, because many of the things I've seen – I mean, we've read about are used in the Muggle world as well, just a bit differently. One could say that they are Muggle anyways."
"Arthur Weasley, you made sure there was a loophole when you wrote that law!" shouted Mrs. Weasley. "Just so you could carry on tinkering with all that Muggle rubbish in your shed! And for your information, Harry arrived this morning in the car you weren't intending to fly!"
"It sounds like she's mad that I'm there because of the way I got there," said Harry, thinking that, while this woman was nice, she wasn't someone he wanted real contact with.
"Harry?" said Mr. Weasley blankly. "Harry who?"
He looked around, saw Harry and jumped.
"Good Lord, is it Harry Potter? Very pleased to meet you, Ron's told us so much about –"
"Your sons flew that car to Harry's house and back last night!" shouted Mrs. Weasley, "What have you got to say about that, eh?"
"If she's expecting him to be angry, she's obviously not thinking very well," said Cedric.
"Yeah, Mr. Weasley is kind of a direct contrast compared to Mrs. Weasley," said Luna.
"Did you really?" said Mr. Weasley eagerly. "Did it go all right? I-I mean," he faltered, as sparks flew from Mrs. Weasley's eyes, "that-that was very wrong, boys – very wrong indeed ..."
"Yeah, that's sounds like a scolding," said Hermione, shaking her head in humor.
"Let's leave them to it," Ron muttered to Harry, as Mrs Weasley swelled like a bullfrog. "Come on, I'll show you my bedroom."
They slipped out of the kitchen and down a narrow passageway to an uneven staircase, which zigzagged its way up through the house. On the third landing, a door stood ajar. Harry just caught sight of a pair of bright brown eyes staring at him before it closed with a snap.
"It looks like little Genevra's scared to actually meet Harry," said Luna. "I wonder how that's going to work when she becomes your wife."
"What?" Harry said, completely bewildered.
"Ginny's always going on about how she's going to become your wife when she grows up, something Mrs. Weasley seems to support," said Luna
"So, basically, she's the ultimate fan girl," said Hermione. "And she has her mothers support in the matter as well."
"Yep. Oh, and they don't take kindly to someone saying that he might not marry Ginny either," said Luna.
"Wait, I noticed that you weren't hanging out as much over there anymore. Is that why?" asked Cedric.
"Partially. Apparently, for all of Mrs. Weasley's goodness, she thinks that the fact that I don't have a mother to raise me means that I'm going to become a wild child, and she doesn't think a respectable girl like Ginny should be hanging out with someone like me. The fact that I don't think Harry would go for a fan girl of his own free will probably has a lot to do with it, of course. I'm not banned from the house, but Mrs. Weasley did seem to come up with reason why I should be allowed to go there quite often since Mum died," Luna said quietly.
Neither Harry nor Hermione liked the fact that someone would willing hurt Luna that way, and their opinion of Mrs. Weasley dropped quite a bit.
"Ginny," said Ron. "You don't know how weird it is for her to be this shy, she never shuts up normally –"
They climbed two more flights until they reached a door with peeling paint and a small plaque on it, saying 'Ronald's Room'.
Harry stepped in, his head almost touching the sloping ceiling, and blinked. It was like walking into a furnace: nearly everything in Ron's room seemed to be a violent shade of orange: the bed spread, the walls, even the ceiling. Then Harry realised that Ron had covered nearly every inch of the shabby wallpaper with posters of the same seven witches and wizards, all wearing bright orange robes, carrying broomsticks and waving energetically.
"Oh, that would so give me a headache," said Hermione. "I'm glad I don't have to stay there."
"Your Quidditch team?" said Harry.
"The Chudley Cannons," said Ron, pointing at the orange bed spread, which was emblazoned with two giant black Cs and a speeding cannonball. "Ninth in the league."
Ron's school spellbooks were stacked untidily in a corner, next to a pile of comics which all seemed to feature The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle.
Hermione frowned at the title of the comics.
Ron's magic wand was lying on top of a fish tank full of frogspawn on the windowsill, next to his fat grey rat, Scabbers, who was snoozing in a patch of sun.
Harry stepped over a pack of Self-Shuffling playing cards on the floor and looked out of the tiny window. In the field far below he could see a gang of gnomes sneaking, one by one, back through the Weasleys' hedge. Then he turned to look at Ron, who was watching him almost nervously, as though waiting for his opinion.
"It's a bit small," said Ron quickly. "Not like that room you had with the Muggles. And I'm right underneath the ghoul in the attic, he's always banging on the pipes and groaning ..."
But Harry, grinning widely, said, "This is the best house I've ever been in."
Ron's ears went pink.
"That's the end of the chapter," said Harry, handing the book to Hermione.