“Weasley Wizard Wheezes,” Cedric read. “Those sound rather interesting.”
“I wonder what they are,” Harry said.
“I would imagine that they have something to do with the twins, since I can't see any of the other Weasleys using a name like that, though I could be wrong, since I don't know the two oldest all that well,” Hermione said.
Harry spun faster and faster, elbows tucked tightly to his sides, blurred fireplaces flashing past him, until he started to feel sick and closed his eyes. Then, when at last he felt himself slowing down, he threw out his hands, and brought himself to a halt in time to prevent himself falling face forwards out of the Weasleys’ kitchen fire.
“Yay, I didn't do the same thing as I did last time,” Harry said.
“Did he eat it?” said Fred excitedly, holding out a hand to pull Harry to his feet.
Yup,” Hermione said.
“Yeah,” said Harry, straightening up. “What was it?”
“Ton-Tongue Toffee,” said Fred brightly. “George and I invented them,”
“They actually invented that?” Hermione said.
“I don't know why you sound so surprised,” Cedric told her. “I would have thought by mine and Luna's reaction, that it wasn't a normal wizarding candy.”
“I guess them actually inventing it didn't really penetrate my mind,” Hermione said. “For all I knew, that was just a one time thing – although, thinking about it, I guess it makes sense that it wasn't, considering that he had a whole bagful of the toffees.”
“I have to admit that she's not the only one surprised,” Harry said. “While a prank, they also don't appear like one either, like they could be sold and someone who buys them could eat them themselves. Of course, how to get rid of the tongue would be a challenge.”
“They probably do have a plan for that,” Cedric said. “It would be irresponsible if they didn't, because no one would buy them if they didn't.”
“Plus, angry witches and wizards would most likely lynch them,” Hermione added.
“That too,” Cedric admitted before going back to the chapter.
“we’ve been looking for someone to test them on all summer ...”
“I have the feeling he's stretching the truth there a bit,” Luna said. “I mean, the execution of the prank makes me think that they were planning on doing that to your cousin the whole time.”
“That is true,” Hermione said. “Otherwise, they could have just handed it to one of their siblings, or left it out for one of their siblings to eat. Although, if they did that, they'd probably get in trouble with their mother.”
“Most likely,” Cedric said.
The tiny kitchen exploded with laughter; Harry looked around and saw that Ron and George were sitting at the scrubbed wooden table with two red-haired people Harry had never seen before,
“Probably Bill and Charlie,” Cedric said.
though he knew immediately who they must be: Bill and Charlie, the two eldest Weasley brothers.
“I wonder how it'll feel to finally meet the two brothers you haven't yet,” Hermione said.
“How’re you doing, Harry?” said the nearer of the two, grinning at him and holding out a large hand, which Harry shook, feeling calluses and blisters under his fingers.
“Charlie, the one that helped you get rid of Norbert,” Hermione said.
This had to be Charlie, who worked with dragons in Romania. Charlie was built like the twins, shorter and stockier than Percy and Ron, who were both long and lanky. He had a broad, good-natured face, which was weather-beaten and so freckly that he looked almost tanned;
“He's most likely out in the sun most of the day,” Luna said.
his arms were muscly, and one of them had a large, shiny burn on it.
“Ouch,” Harry said.
“I think that's why Mrs. Weasley would like it if Charlie would take another job, but considering that she wants all of her children to work at the Ministry, I'm sure she'd be complaining about him needing to do something else even if he wasn't a dragon keeper,” Luna said, remembering all of the arguments she'd heard Mrs. Weasley and Charlie have when it became known what Charlie wanted to do with his life.
Bill got to his feet, smiling, and also shook Harry’s hand. Bill came as something of a surprise.
“Why?” Hermione asked.
“You'll see,” Cedric said, remembering how Bill had looked the last time he saw him – the summer before he started his first year. He kind of stopped hanging out with the twins after the sorting was done.
Harry knew that he worked for the wizarding bank, Gringotts, that he had been Head Boy of Hogwarts, and had always imagined Bill to be an older version of Percy; fussy about rule-breaking and fond of bossing everyone around.
Both Cedric and Luna snorted at that. Bill was nothing like that.
Harry and Hermione looked at them, wondering why they were doing that, but the two didn't seem inclined to answer.
However, Bill was – there was no other word for it – cool. He was tall, with long hair that he had tied back in a ponytail. He was wearing an earring with what looked like a fang dangling from it. His clothes would not have looked out of place at a rock concert, except that Harry recognised his boots to be made, not of leather, but of dragon hide.
“Cool,” Hermione said. “He probably has a lot of admirers.”
Cedric suddenly frowned. Would the book version of Hermione be one of them? Was the Hermione reading with them an admirer?
Before any of them could say anything else, there was a faint popping noise, and Mr. Weasley appeared out of thin air at George’s shoulder. He was looking angrier than Harry had ever seen him.
“Of course,” Luna said. “Think about where he works, and what he works to achieve. That his own children does that...”
“That wasn’t funny, Fred!” he shouted. “What on earth did you give that Muggle boy?”
“Well, technically, he didn't have him anything, he just dropped them and forgot to pick one up,” Hermione said.
“Of course, that fact that it was most likely on purpose...” Cedric added. “It kind of erases his innocence.”
“I didn’t give him anything,” said Fred, with another evil grin. “I just dropped it ... it was his fault he went and ate it, I never told him to.”
“That is true, but I've told them a lot about Dudley, he probably knew that he would do that without any prompting,” Harry said.
“You dropped it on purpose!” roared Mr. Weasley. “You knew he’d eat it, you knew he was on a diet –“
“Wow, I must've mentioned the diet to Ron or something,” Harry said.
“You probably did in your letter when you sent he plea for food,” Hermione said.
“How big did his tongue get?” George asked eagerly.
“It was four foot long before his parents would let me shrink it!”
There was some laughter at that.
“At least they finally realized that it would be a good idea to let him do that,” Luna said.
Harry and the Weasleys roared with laughter again.
“It isn’t funny!” Mr. Weasley shouted. “That sort of behaviour seriously undermines wizard–Muggle relations! I spend half my life campaigning against the mistreatment of Muggles, and my own sons –“
“Had a feeling that would be his biggest problem about it,” Luna said.
“I doubt they did it because he was a Muggle, though,” Hermione said. “As it mentioned before, you've told them a lot about Dudley, so they probably know that he's a great bullying git.”
“I doubt that would really matter to Mr. Weasley right now,” Luna said. “Even if he is a bully, he's still a Muggle and it still looks bad.”
“We didn’t give it to him because he was a Muggle!” said Fred indignantly.
“Apparently, that sort of thought is insulting to him,” Cedric said.
“No, we gave it to him because he’s a great bullying git,” said George. “Isn’t he, Harry?”
“Yeah, he is, Mr. Weasley,” said Harry earnestly.
“That’s not the point!” raged Mr. Weasley.
Knew it Luna thought.
“You wait until I tell your mother –“
“I have the feeling that's an empty threat,” Harry said.
“Well, it's not about to be, since she probably heard it,” Hermione said. She had that feeling, mostly because of the fact that it would be irony.
“Tell me what?” said a voice behind them.
Just knew that would happen Hermione thought.
Mrs. Weasley had just entered the kitchen. She was a short, plump woman with a very kind face, though her eyes were presently narrowed with suspicion.
“Oh, hello, Harry dear,” she said, spotting him and smiling. Then her eyes snapped back to her husband. “Tell me what, Arthur?”
'”I feel sorry for him and the twins,” Luna said, knowing that Mrs. Weasley would continue badgering her husband until he told and that they'd end up getting yelled at about it.
Mr. Weasley hesitated. Harry could tell that, however angry he was with Fred and George, he hadn’t really intended to tell Mrs. Weasley what had happened.
“Not surprising,” Cedric said. “He probably wants them to remember their lesson, not just get yelled at by Mrs. Weasley.”
“What do you mean?” Hermione asked.
“Mr. Weasley rarely punishes the kids, but when he does, it tends to stick,” Cedric explained. “Unlike when Mrs. Weasley does, because all she does is just yell at them and that's about it.”
There was a silence, while Mr. Weasley eyed his wife nervously. Then two girls appeared in the kitchen doorway behind Mrs Weasley. One, with very bushy brown hair and rather large front teeth,
Hermione frowned. She'd hoped that some time in the magical world would have helped her figure out how to fix her hair from that bushy state or gotten her teeth reduced in size – assuming either were possible. Then again, since she wasn't on for appearance, it was probable that she really didn't care to look it up, and, as the the teeth, since her parents were dentist, they'd probably insist that she do it the Muggle way, which, honestly, would mean braces. She couldn't really see that helping though, since braces were more of keeping teeth straight then shrinking them.
was Harry and Ron’s friend, Hermione Granger.
“It'll be great to see you,” Hermione said.
The other, who was small and red-haired, was Ron’s younger sister, Ginny.
Harry frowned. It's the fan girl he thought.
Both of them smiled at Harry, who grinned back, which made Ginny go scarlet – she had been very taken with Harry ever since his first visit to The Burrow.
“That's an understatement,” Luna said.
“Tell me what, Arthur?” Mrs. Weasley repeated, in a dangerous sort of voice.
“It would probably be best if he just told her,” Luna said.
“It’s nothing, Molly,” mumbled Mr. Weasley, “Fred and George just – but I’ve had words with them –“
“What, sort of a think like 'oh, I'm the only person allowed to punish the kids' or something,” Hermione said.
“It did seem like that,” Cedric said. “Personally, though, I think it's because it's Fred and George who have done something and, honestly, because they're pranksters, she's always going off on them.”
“What have they done this time?” said Mrs. Weasley. “If it’s got anything to do with Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes –“
“So we were right, it does have something to do with the twins,” Hermione said.
“Why don’t you show Harry where he’s sleeping, Ron?” said Hermione from the doorway.
“I take it that you want to get out of there before Mount Mrs. Weasley explodes,” Harry said, since he was reasonably sure that he already knew where he'd be sleeping anyway.
“He knows where he’s sleeping,” said Ron. “In my room, he slept there last –“
“He's rather slow on the uptake, that, or he wants to watch the twins get yelled at,” Luna said.
“We can all go,” said Hermione, pointedly.
“Oh,” said Ron, cottoning on. “Right.”
“He was slow on the uptake,” Hermione said.
“Yeah, we’ll come, too,” said George –
“Somehow, I don't think that's going to happen,” Cedric said.
“You stay where you are!” snarled Mrs. Weasley.
Harry and Ron edged out of the kitchen, and they, Hermione and Ginny set off along the narrow hallway and up the rickety staircase that zig-zagged through the house to the upper storeys.
“What are Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes?” Harry asked, as they climbed.
Ron and Ginny both laughed, although Hermione didn’t.
“Why not?” Harry asked.
“I've probably don't think much about them,” Hermione said. “I mean, I'm a lover of rules, and they're pranksters who like to break them. I probably take a Mrs. Weasley stance on about them as well.”
“I can see that,” Luna said. “And the fact that most of it is probably joke stuff...”
“Exactly,” Hermione said.
“What about right now, what do you actually think about them?” Harry asked.
“It depends about it. From what I can tell, that Ton-Tongue toffee does seem to have to have some thought behind it, and it most likely took some intelligence to get it that way,” Hermione said. “It's not tat bad, in all honesty, and certainly is funny. And, if the rest of their stuff is like that, then they obviously have the flare for it.”
“Mum found this stack of order forms when she was cleaning Fred and George’s room,” said Ron quietly.
“Which is probably how she knows about it,” Cedric said. “And, of course, since it's not what she wants them to do, she doesn't approve of it.”
“That's horrible,” Hermione said, shaking her head.
“Great long price-lists for stuff they’ve invented. Joke stuff, you know. Fake wands and trick sweets, loads of stuff. It was brilliant, I never knew they’d been inventing all that ...”
“It does sound brilliant,” Luna said.
“We’ve been hearing explosions out of their room for ages, but we never thought they were actually making things,” said Ginny, “we thought they just liked the noise.”
“Oh, I doubt that that they don't like the noise,” Cedric said.
“Only, most of the stuff – well, all of it, really – was a bit dangerous,” said Ron,
“I doubt they're extremely dangerous,” Hermione said. “They'd probably end up in trouble if it was. The danger is probably mostly small and easily fixable.”
“and, you know, they were planning to sell it at Hogwarts to make some money, and Mum went mad at them. Told them they weren’t allowed to make any more of it, and burnt all the order forms ...”
“Now that's just horrible,” Harry said. “She's basically saying that they can't be themselves.”
“she’s furious at them anyway. They didn’t get as many O.W.Ls as she expected.”
“I wonder how many they got,” Hermione said.
“It shouldn't matter how many O.W.L.s they got,” Cedric said. “What should matter is what subjects they got them in. After all, for at least four of them, for three of them, the only point to get an OWL in the subject is if it's going to be needed because of what you plan on doing in life later on; and the fourth, well, only someone whose an idiot, or just wants a full set, would want and OWL in Divination. As for everything else, they'd probably could use an OWL in most of the other subjects, and they most likely split them between themselves, so that they it would appear they only got a low number of OWLs alone, but together it's a high amount.”
O.W.Ls were Ordinary Wizarding Levels, the examinations Hogwarts students took at the age of fifteen.
“I can't wait until it's time for us to do them,” Hermione said. Luna nodded while the two males just shook their heads.
“And then there was this big row,” Ginny said, “because Mum wants them to go into the Ministry of Magic like Dad, and they told her all they want to do is open a joke-shop.”
“Which would not endear them to Mrs. Weasley,” Cedric said.
“That's horrible, that she's so unsupportive of them,” Hermione said. “She shouldn't force her kids to do something that she wants over what they want to do. That's basically saying that she doesn't care if they're miserable, so long as she gets what she wants.”
“I think that's why Percy is her favourite, because he wants to work in the ministry,” Cedric said.
“Somehow, I have a feeling that's going to come back and bite her,” Hermione said, then thought for a moment. “Wait, does that mean that she also prefers him over the two oldest as well?”
“I do believe so, because of the jobs they have,” Cedric said.
“Let me guess, she's mad at Bill because he decided to work for Gringotts, and probably blames him a bit because Charlie decided he wanted to work with Dragons instead of at the Ministry,” Hermione said.
“Well, I don't know how long Charlie has wanted to work with Dragons, but I wouldn't actually put it past Mrs. Weasley to think like that, since, from what I hear, he didn't mention what he wanted to do until after Bill left,” Luna said.
“Wait,” Harry said, thinking. “The older two, they work in different countries, don't they?”
“Yeah,” Cedric said.
“Does she not find it odd that her oldest two have moved away from her?” Harry asked. “I mean, it's apparent that both could work in England, but they, for some reason, don't, probably out of choice.”
That got the other's attention.
“Mrs. Weasley is a bit controlling over the lives of everyone,” Luna said thoughtfully. “And she does tend to do what she could to make her displeasure known. That's two reasons right there that would explain why they left.”
“And I guess she just hasn't realized it because of the fact that Percy hasn't done it to her yet, so she probably doesn't realize that part of the appeal for working in other countries is to escape her,” Cedric said, then, before anything else could be said on the subject, went back to the chapter.
Just then, a door on the second landing opened, and a face poked out wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a very annoyed expression.
“And, speaking of Percy,” Hermione said.
“Hi, Percy,” said Harry.
“Oh, hello, Harry,” said Percy. “I was wondering who was making all the noise.”
“There just walking up the stairs,” Luna said. “That's not a whole lot of noise being made.”
“But they're also talking, and they could be talking louder than needed,” Cedric pointed out.
“I’m trying to work in here, you know – I’ve got a report to finish for the office – and it’s rather difficult to concentrate when people keep thundering up and down the stairs.”
“We’re not thundering,” said Ron irritably. “We’re walking. Sorry if we’ve disturbed the top-secret workings of the Ministry of Magic.”
“What are you working on?” said Harry.
“Probably not the best question to ask,” Hermione said, remembering what Ron had wrote in the letter to Harry.
“A report for the Department of International Magical Cooperation,” said Percy smugly. “We’re trying to standardise cauldron thickness. Some of these foreign imports are just a shade too thin – leakages have been increasing at a rate of almost three per cent a year –“
“So, nothing that would really inspire someone to stay away,” Cedric said.
“That’ll change the world, that report will,” said Ron. “Front page of the Daily Prophet, I expect, cauldron leaks.”
Percy went slightly pink.
“You might sneer, Ron,” he said heatedly, “but unless some sort of international law is imposed we might well find the market flooded with flimsy, shallow-bottomed products which seriously endanger –“
“It would be interesting to learn, but it's not something that would keep people away,” Cedric said.
“Yeah, yeah, all right,” said Ron, and he started off upstairs again. Percy slammed his bedroom door shut. As Harry, Hermione and Ginny followed Ron up three more flights of stairs, shouts from the kitchen below echoed up to them.
“Looks like Mrs. Weasley has learned of what the twins did to Dudley,” Luna said.
It sounded as though Mr. Weasley had told Mrs. Weasley about the toffees.
“Well, it wasn't like she'd let him go until it happened,” Hermione said.
The room at the top of the house where Ron slept looked much as it had done the last time that Harry had come to stay; the same posters of Ron’s favourite Quidditch team, the Chudley Cannons, were whirling and waving on the walls and sloping ceiling, and the fishtank on the windowsill which had previously held frog-spawn now contained one extremely large frog.
“Well, it has been two years,” Cedric said.
“The only thing different about the room, besides that, will be the fact that Scabbers is no longer there and that there will be more beds in the room,” Hermione said.
Ron’s old rat, Scabbers, was here no more, but instead there was the tiny grey owl that had delivered Ron’s letter to Harry in Privet Drive. It was hopping up and down in a small cage, and twittering madly.
“It probably drives the other owls mad,” Cedric said.
“Shut up, Pig,” said Ron, edging his way between two of the four beds that had been squeezed into the room. “Fred and George are in here with us, because Bill and Charlie are in their room,” he told Harry.
“It would probably be better if you were in the room with the two eldest, so that it wasn't so crowded in Ron's room,” Hermione said.
“There's probably another reason for it,” Cedric said.
“Percy gets to keep his room all to himself because he’s got to work.”
“Er – why are you calling that owl Pig?” Harry asked Ron.
“Because he’s being stupid,” said Ginny. “Its proper name is Pigwidgeon.”
“Looks like you were right, Luna,” Hermione said.
“And you were right in that the owl wasn't Ginny's to name,” Luna said.
“Calling it Pig must be easier than calling it by the full name,” Harry said.
“Yeah, and that’s not a stupid name at all,” said Ron sarcastically.
“It kind of is,” Hermione said.
“Ginny named him,” he explained to Harry.
“You know, I have to wonder why she got to name him when it's Ron's owl,” Cedric said.
“Mrs. Weasley probably let her,” Luna said.
“She reckons it’s sweet. And I tried to change it, but it was too late, he won’t answer to anything else. So now he’s Pig. I’ve got to keep him up here because he annoys Errol and Hermes.”
“I had the feeling that he did,” Hermione said.
“He annoys me, too, come to that.”
Pigwidgeon zoomed happily around his cage, hooting shrilly. Harry knew Ron too well to take him seriously. He had moaned continually about his old rat Scabbers, but had been most upset when Hermione’s cat, Crookshanks, appeared to have eaten him.
“Yeah, even though he's annoying, Ron probably has already become attached to the owl,” Cedric said.
“Where’s Crookshanks?” Harry asked Hermione now.
“Out in the garden, I expect,” she said. “He likes chasing gnomes, he’s never seen any before.”
“Percy’s enjoying work, then?” said Harry,
“I have the feeling he's more than enjoying it,” Hermione said.
sitting down on one of the beds and watching the Chudley Cannons zooming in and out of the posters on the ceiling.
“Enjoying it?” said Ron darkly. “I don’t reckon he’d come home if Dad didn’t make him. He’s obsessed. Just don’t get him onto the subject of his boss. According to Mr. Crouch ...”
Cedric wrinkled his nose. He didn't really care much for Mr. Crouch, and neither did his mother. They both found him too work-oriented, and Cedric knew that his mother disliked him even more because of what he did to his son and how he didn't seem to care much about his wife's death. Or, rather, he never gave the appearance that he did.
“as I was saying to Mr. Crouch ... Mr. Crouch is of the opinion ... Mr. Crouch was telling me ... They’ll be announcing their engagement any day now.”
“Why does he admire Mr. Crouch so much?” Hermione asked.
“Because he's a lot like him,” Cedric said honestly. “Mr. Crouch is very rule-abiding, and strict. In truth, he was actually a shoe-in for Minister at one point, but then something happened that changed that.” He continued reading before it was mentioned.
“Have you had a good summer, Harry?” said Hermione. “Did you get our food parcels and everything?”
“Yeah, thanks a lot,” said Harry. “They saved my life, those cakes.”
“Glad to help,” Hermione said.
“And have you heard from –?” Ron began,
“Idiot, don't ask it with your sister in the room,” Hermione said.
but at a look from Hermione he fell silent. Harry knew Ron had been about to ask about Sirius. Ron and Hermione had been so deeply involved in helping Sirius escape from the Ministry of Magic that they were almost as concerned about Harry’s godfather as he was. However, discussing him in front of Ginny was a bad idea.
“A very bad one,” Luna said. “She'd either tell her parents or use it to blackmail you guys.”
“You think she would actually do that?” Hermione said.
“Yes,” Luna said. “She's done it before. That's actually why the twins don't use her as a test subject the way they do the others. Because she knows something about them that they don't want to be mentioned.”
“Really I thought it was because she was able to use Mrs. Weasley's wand on them at some point and hexed them badly,” Cedric said.
“No, that's what she made them say she did to explain it away, because it not only makes her appear more powerful than she probably is, but it also makes them appear afraid of her,” Luna said. “And I know she did it because I was there the supposed day this happened, and she never got a hold of her mother's wand, but she did disappear for a moment, and came back smiling like the cat who got the canary. The next day, when I was visiting, I'm suddenly hearing about how she was able to hex the two good.”
“Let me guess, you know she never got a hold of the wand because you saw that Mrs. Weasley still had it at the time she disappeared,” Harry said. Luna nodded her head.
“So, definitely not a good idea to let her know,” Hermione said.
Nobody but themselves and Professor Dumbledore knew about how Sirius had escaped, or believed in his innocence.
“I think they’ve stopped arguing,” said Hermione, to cover the awkward moment, because Ginny was looking curiously from Ron to Harry. “Shall we go down and help your mum with dinner?”
“Probably the best thing to do at the moment,” Luna said.
“Yeah, all right,” said Ron. The four of them left Ron’s room and went back downstairs, to find Mrs. Weasley alone in the kitchen, looking extremely bad-tempered.
“They probably repeated the fact that they wanted to open a joke shop instead of go to the ministry,” Cedric said.
“We’re eating out in the garden,” she said when they came in.
“That's probably best since there is not enough room in the kitchen for eleven people,” Luna said.
“There’s just not room for eleven people in here. Could you take the plates outside, girls? Bill and Charlie are setting up the tables. Knives and forks, please, you two,” she said to Ron and Harry, pointing her wand a little more vigorously than she had intended at a pile of potatoes in the sink, which shot out of their skins so fast that they ricocheted off the walls and ceilings.
“Probably not a good idea for her to be using her want when she's angry,” Harry said.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” she snapped, now directing her wand at a dustpan, which hopped off the side and started skating across the floor, scooping up the potatoes.
“I hope that she's not expecting us to eat them if they've been on the floor,” Hermione said.
“Those two!” she burst out savagely, now pulling pots and pans out of a cupboard, and Harry knew she meant Fred and George. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to them, I really don’t. No ambition, unless you count making as much trouble as they possibly can ...”
“They have an ambition, you just don't like what it is,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes at Mrs. Weasley's words.
“She's not about to vent about them to me and Ron, is she?” Harry said.
“I have the feeling that she will,” Luna said.
She slammed a large copper saucepan down on the kitchen table and began to wave her wand around inside it. A creamy sauce poured from the wand tip as she stirred.
“It’s not as though they haven’t got brains,” she continued irritably,
“At least she admits that,” Hermione muttered.
taking the saucepan over to the stove and lighting it with a further poke of her wand, “but they’re wasting them,”
“No, there not,” Harry said. “They're just using them for what they want, not what she wants.”
“and unless they pull themselves together soon, they’ll be in real trouble. I’ve had more owls from Hogwarts about them than the rest put together. If they carry on the way they’re going, they’ll end up in front of the Improper Use of Magic Office.”
“I really doubt it,” Cedric said.
Mrs. Weasley jabbed her wand at the cutlery drawer, which shot open. Harry and Ron both jumped out of the way as several knives soared out of it, flew across the kitchen
“She was watching what she was doing, right?” Hermione said.
“It doesn't sound like it,” Luna said.
and began chopping the potatoes, which had just been tipped back into the sink by the dustpan.
“I don’t know where we went wrong with them,’ said Mrs. Weasley,
“That is the worse thing to ever say about your children,” Hermione said.
“She's saying that simply because they like to make people laugh?” Harry said incredulously.
putting down her wand and starting to pull out still more saucepans. “It’s been the same for years, one thing after another, and they won’t listen to – OH, NOT AGAIN!”
“Now what?” Luna said, though she was glad to know that something had distracted Mrs. Weasley from talking about the twins as she was.
She had picked up her wand from the table, and it had emitted a loud squeak and turned into a giant rubber mouse.
“Didn't Ron mention that they'd made some fake wands?” Hermione said, as the others laughed a bit.
“Yeah, he did,” Cedric said.
“Those would actually be pretty cool to have,” Harry said.
“And they sound perfect for little ones,” Cedric said. “Give a kid a wand like that, and you won't have to worry about them stealing yours.”
“One of their fake wands again!” she shouted. “How many times have I told those two not to leave them lying around?”
“They probably shouldn't do that, because it'll just make their mother angrier,” Hermione said.
She grabbed her real wand and turned around to find that the sauce on the stove was smoking.
“C’mon,” Ron said hurriedly to Harry, seizing a handful of cutlery from the open drawer, “let’s go and help Bill and Charlie.”
“Yeah, we really should get out of there,” Harry said.
They left Mrs. Weasley, and headed out of the back door into the yard.
They had only gone a few paces when Hermione’s bandy-legged, ginger cat Crookshanks came pelting out of the garden, bottle-brush tail held high in the air, chasing what looked like a muddy potato on legs.
“It's a gnome,” Luna said.
Harry recognised it instantly as a gnome. Barely ten inches high, its horny little feet pattered very fast as it sprinted across the yard and dived headlong into one of the Wellington boots that lay scattered around the door. Harry could hear the gnome giggling madly as Crookshanks inserted a paw into the boot, trying to reach it.
“Looks like Crookshanks really does like going after them,” Hermione said, smiling.
Meanwhile, a very loud crashing noise was coming from the other side of the house. The source of the commotion was revealed as they entered the garden and saw that Bill and Charlie both had their wands out, and were making two battered old tables fly high above the lawn, smashing into each other, each attempting to knock the other’s out of the air.
“Cool,” Harry and Cedric said.
Fred and George were cheering; Ginny was laughing, and Hermione was hovering near the hedge, apparently torn between amusement and anxiety.
“I'm probably worry something might go wrong,” Hermione said.
Bill’s table caught Charlie’s with a huge bang, and knocked one of its legs off.
“Hopefully it doesn't hit anyone,” Harry said.
There was a clatter from overhead, and they all looked up to see Percy’s head poking out of a window on the second floor.
“Will you keep it down?” he bellowed.
“Sorry, Perce,” said Bill, grinning. “How’re the cauldron bottoms coming on?”
“He is probably the only one who could get away with that,” Cedric said.
“Very badly,” said Percy peevishly, and he slammed the window shut again. Chuckling, Bill and Charlie directed the tables safely onto the grass, end to end, and then, with a flick of his wand, Bill reattached the table leg, and conjured tablecloths from nowhere.
“So we can actually set the table,” Hermione said.
By seven o’clock, the two tables were groaning under dishes and dishes of Mrs Weasley’s excellent cooking, and the nine Weasleys, Harry and Hermione were settling themselves down to eat beneath a clear, deep-blue sky.
“That sounds like it would be lovely to experience,” Luna said.
To somebody who had been living on meals of increasingly stale cake all summer,
“That's going to be paradise,” Harry realised.
this was paradise, and at first, Harry listened rather than talked, as he helped himself to chicken-and-ham pie, boiled potatoes and salad.
At the far end of the table, Percy was telling his father all about his report on cauldron bottoms.
“I'm sure Mr. Weasley is loving that,” Cedric said.
“I’ve told Mr. Crouch that I’ll have it ready by Tuesday,” Percy was saying pompously. “That’s a bit sooner than he expected it, but I like to keep on top of things. I think he’ll be grateful I’ve done it in good time.”
“Maybe, maybe not, it depends on whether there's something big coming up or not. As the World Cup is, then, yes, he probably will be,” Cedric said.
“I mean, it’s extremely busy in our department just now, what with all the arrangements for the World Cup. We’re just not getting the support we need from the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Ludo Bagman –“
“Good beater, but as a department head...not a good choice for that position,” Cedric said. It was what his father had said about him, after all.
“I like Ludo,” said Mr. Weasley mildly. “He was the one who got us such good tickets for the Cup.”
“That was nice of him, but that doesn't mean that he's faultless,” Luna said.
“I did him a bit of a favour: his brother, Otto, got into a spot of trouble – a lawn-mower with unnatural powers – I smoothed the whole thing over.”
“Meaning he probably helped keep it from becoming something bad,” Cedric said. “And was probably able to keep the brother out of Azkaban, making it so he just had pay a fine.”
“Oh, Bagman’s likeable enough, of course,” said Percy dismissively, “but how he ever got to be Head of Department ...”
“I think he got it because of connections, not because he was actually qualified for it,” Cedric said.
“when I compare him to Mr. Crouch! I can’t see Mr. Crouch losing a member of our department and not trying to find out what’s happened to them. You realise Bertha Jorkins has been missing for over a month now? Went on holiday to Albania and never came back?”
“She's not coming back,” Harry said, frowning.
“Yes, I was asking Ludo about that,” said Mr. Weasley, frowning. “He says Bertha’s got lost plenty of times before now – though I must say, if it was someone in my department, I’d be worried ...”
“I think any department head who deserves the position would be worried,” Luna said.
“Oh, Bertha’s hopeless, all right,” said Percy. “I hear she’s been shunted from department to department for years, much more trouble than she’s worth ... but all the same, Bagman ought to be trying to find her.”
“That is true,” Hermione said. “They should have wondered when she didn't come back when she was supposed to, after all.”
“Mr. Crouch has been taking a personal interest – she worked in our department at one time, you know, and I think Mr. Crouch was quite fond of her”
Cedric frowned. He couldn't see Crouch being fond of anyone, in all honesty.
“– but Bagman just keeps laughing and saying she probably misread the map and ended up in Australia instead of Albania.”
“I doubt it,” Luna said.
“However,” Percy heaved an impressive sigh, and took a deep swig of elderflower wine, “we’ve got quite enough on our plates at the Department of International Magical Cooperation without trying to find members of other departments too. As you know, we’ve got another big event to organise right after the World Cup.”
He cleared his throat significantly and looked down towards the end of the table where Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting.
“He's purposely doing that in hopes that you'll ask about it,” Luna said, shaking her head.
“I doubt he'd tell us if we did,” Hermione said, frowning. “That is, however, rather rude of him to do. He should be ashamed of himself, trying to get us to ask just to deny us the answer.”
“He seems to want to lord it over us that he knows something we don't,” Harry said, also frowning.
“You know the one I’m talking about, Father.” He raised his voice slightly. “The top-secret one.”
Ron rolled his eyes and muttered to Harry and Hermione, “He’s been trying to get us to ask what that event is ever since he started work. Probably an exhibition of thick-bottomed cauldrons.”
“Doubt it,” Hermione said. “He wouldn't be trying to get us to ask if it was.”
In the middle of the table, Mrs. Weasley was arguing with Bill about his earring, which seemed to be a recent acquisition.
“... with a horrible great fang on it, really, Bill, what do they say at the bank?”
“I don't think the goblins care, so long as he does his job,” Luna said.
“Mum, no one at the bank gives a damn how I dress as long as I bring home plenty of treasure,” said Bill patiently.
“And your hair’s getting silly, dear,” said Mrs. Weasley,
“Working in Egypt to get away from his mother is definitely looking more and more likely,” Harry said.
fingering her wand lovingly. “I wish you’d let me give it a trim ...”
“I like it,” said Ginny,
“Not surprising that she'd speak up in defense of Bill. He's her favourite brother,” Luna said.
who was sitting beside Bill. “You’re so old-fashioned, Mum. Anyway, it’s nowhere near as long as Professor Dumbledore’s ...”
“It'll probably take a several more years to get it at that length,” Hermione said.
Next to Mrs. Weasley, Fred, George and Charlie were all talking spiritedly about the World Cup.
“It’s got to be Ireland,” said Charlie thickly, through a mouthful of potato. “They flattened Peru in the semi-finals.”
“Bulgaria have got Viktor Krum, though,” said Fred.
“Having one decent player doesn't mean much of the other teams has more,” Cedric said. “From what I've heard about Ireland, their Chasers and Keepers are superb, and the Beaters are pretty decent as well. The Seeker, though, he's not as good as Viktor Krum is – Krum is really good, from what I've hard.”
“Krum’s one decent player, Ireland have got seven,” said Charlie shortly. “I wish England had got through, though. That was embarrassing, that was.”
“I'm almost afraid to know, if it was embarrassing,” Cedric said.
“Well, I have the feeling that I'm going to want to know,” Harry said.
“You do,” Cedric said, looking down at the book.
“What happened?” said Harry eagerly, regretting more than ever his isolation from the wizarding world when he was stuck in Privet Drive. Harry was passionate about Quidditch. He had played as Seeker on the Gryffindor house Quidditch team ever since his first year at Hogwarts and owned a Firebolt, one of the best racing brooms in the world.
“Went down to Transylvania, three hundred and ninety to ten,” said Charlie gloomily.
“Oh, yeah, that is embarrassing,” Cedric said.
“Shocking performance. And Wales lost to Uganda, and Scotland were slaughtered by Luxembourg.”
Mr. Weasley conjured up candles to light the darkening garden before they had their pudding (home-made strawberry ice-cream), and by the time they had finished, moths were fluttering low over the table and the warm air was perfumed with the smells of grass and honeysuckle.
“That would be really nice,” Luna said.
“True,” Hermione agreed.
Harry was feeling extremely well fed and at peace with the world as he watched several gnomes sprinting through the rose bushes, laughing madly and closely pursued by Crookshanks.
“I wonder how long he's going to be at it,” Hermione said.
Ron looked carefully up the table to check that the rest of the family were all busy talking,
“He's going to ask about Sirius now,” Harry said.
“It is better since everyone else won't really be paying attention,” Luna said.
then he said very quietly to Harry, “So – have you heard from Sirius lately?”
Hermione looked round, listening closely.
“That's a good thing to do, just in case someone becomes curious about what you might be talking about,” Cedric said.
“Yeah,” said Harry softly, “twice. He sounds OK. I wrote to him the day before yesterday. He might write back while I’m here.”
He suddenly remembered the reason he had written to Sirius and, for a moment, was on the verge of telling Ron and Hermione about his scar hurting again, and about the dream which had awoken him ...
“Probably not a good idea at the moment, considering where we are and the way we'll probably react,” Hermione said.
but he really didn’t want to worry them just now, not when he himself was feeling so happy and peaceful.
“You should at least tell them later, though,” Luna said.
“Look at the time,” Mrs. Weasley said suddenly, checking her wristwatch. “You really should be in bed, the whole lot of you, you’ll be up at the crack of dawn to get to the Cup. Harry, if you leave your school list out, I’ll get your things for you tomorrow in Diagon Alley.”
“She's going there herself,” Hermione said. “Why?”
“A real match can last for days,” Cedric said.
“I’m getting everyone else’s. There might not be time after the World Cup, the match went on for five days last time.”
“That would be...interesting if it did this time around,” Harry said.
“Wow – hope it does this time!” said Harry enthusiastically.
“I think book you thinks a bit differently,” Cedric said.
“Well, I certainly don’t,” said Percy sanctimoniously. “I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days.”
“I doubt it would be that bad,” Hermione said.
“You'd be surprised,” Cedric said.
“Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?” said Fred.
“If he's mentioning that, I have a feeling he and George probably had something to do with it,” Harry said.
“I have to agree,” Hermione said.
“That was a sample of fertiliser from Norway!” said Percy, going very red in the face. “It was nothing personal!”
“If they did it, then it was personal,” Luna said.
“It was,” Fred whispered to Harry, as they got up from the table. “We sent it.”
Figured it out,” Harry said.
“That's the end of the chapter,” Cedric said, handing it over to Luna.